When I go to Paris I am going to spend some time with my adorable cousin’s exboyfriend and mother. Will it be a small apartment covered in vines with chipped blue paint and pictures of her as a young woman standing next to a new bike that she was too scared to ride anywhere other than the country side? Will she have curly black hair and no makeup with large dark eyes that crinkle into a the warmest mental hug I have ever felt? Will she be able to understand me and my nervous studder? Will she serve us pan au chocolat and raspberry tea she got from the sweet gruff man who has a stand at the market? Will my feet hurt from the beautiful cobble stones that I spent the previous day floating over? Will the chair I slump into be soft from all the years her husband sat there next to the record player as she watered her tulips that live outside her livingroom window? Will she shake my hand or wrap her soft tan arms around me and kiss me two times on the cheek while bumping her glasses against mine? Will she smell like something so beautiful that I have never had the chance to smell before? Will she be small and thin? Will she have spent the entire day cooking for our arrival? Will she be large and loving and anything like Julia Child? Will I leave there that day finally having had learned how to be genuine and sweet and warm and no longer awkward and finally stop thinking “what next?” and learn to look people in the eye and ooze amorous enthusiasm without being loud and touchy like all the little girls I have schooled with for so long? Will she tell me stories about raising her children and “the old Paris”? Will she teach me how to pronounce my words deeply? Will she teach me new words to coo to the ones I miss?
I will take the metro to see her, and during holiday season I will send her and her son presents that are genuine and warm like the new me.
I got sick again and left early. I just can’t stay there anymore without feeling like a fish trapped in a bowl floating unaware no certain place no sense of time or spatialness.
Edgar took me home and went back late. Regardless of any short comings he may have (so rude to madame!!) he is a good friend and person. Most of the time we judge our friends too harshly but take a moment to look at all the nice shit they do for you like driving you around and getting you birthday presents when almost everyone else forgets.
My cousin has told me where I am staying when I get to France and my heart is beating so hard and I’m so happy and scared and sad and excited and bubbling and over and winded et autre choses. It’s a fancy house that a nice couple is letting me stay in and it’s in a chic neighborhood and safe. Germaine is coming with me and I feel less horrified with that fact draped over my shoulders. I Wish Brandon could come.
“You’re in a bed on a beach in a universe without periods reading J.D.’s book that he wrote just for you with Jens playing in the background and a gentle breeze.”
If I could make anything feel personal anymore I’d be flowing. I’ve been left stagnant and a broken lamp. If not too busted, which I’m sure this lamp isn’t, it can all be fixed.
Btw, this the most awkward foreign language video I’ve ever seen:
So, I was thinking about it and London and Sweden will probably not work out. My trip as of now will look like this [roughly]:
If anyone can help me make my course smoother I’d appreciate it! I need all the help I can get!
I’ve been looking at Couchsurfing.org and it looks really promising. I found one potential couch to surf and the owner of this couch seems absolutely amazing. She’s a sweet girl from Belgium and I hope we get to hang out. I seriously cannot wait to make a bunch of European friends.
P.s. You guys should go check out my friend Kyle’s band page which is www.Myspace.com/Mouthfulofsnow.
In 7 months I will (hopefully) be in Europe. Originally I was going to stay in Paris for 1 -1/2 months and then travel the other 1 -1/2 months but, thinking about it, I think that maybe only one month in France is sufficient. I want to go from France –> England –> Belgium –> Netherlands –> Germany –> Denmark –> Sweden. Maybe one month in paris and 2 everywhere else? Ah, the choices! All I know is that I will probably be couch surfing. The whole point of this trip is to open me up, make me more alive, and find friends all over the world.
If anyone out there has any advice or could maybe even lend out a couch please leave me a comment!