I’m going to cut to the chase.
I look a lot like Woody Allen sometimes. It’s the weirdest thing. It’s as if he had a daughter with a very attractive woman and being that he isn’t very attractive he needed a highly attractive wife to have an average kid (me). I’d show you but I don’t have a scanner anymore or, to be honest, the true desire to look like a brilliant but toadish Jewish man in front of all my (one) readers. Maybe it’s the nose and the glasses?
As you may know, Mr. J.D. Salinger died on Wednesday at the age of 91 after decades of being a recluse. I feel like Susan Boyle was going up this alley after she checked herself into that mental hospital, rehab, whatever. Maybe if Hollywood hadn’t been wasn’t so damn phony people wouldn’t stow themselves away like wounded public enemies.
Anyways, now that he’s died people are thinking that any unpublished work he ever wrote will get published now COMPLETELY AGAINST THE FACT THAT SALINGER SPENT A MAJORITY OF HIS LIFE SUEING THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE WHO TRIED TO PUBLISH HIS WORK. I want to read it all, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like it’s fucked up to have your way with a dead person. Maybe his work got worse with age, much like how the genius, howling, fucking wonderful Woody Allen became just a mediocre pasty old has-been.
Well, Jerome David Salinger, you had a long and, presumably, boring life but your mind was reeling and I loved you.